greetings all.

firstly, let me just say that this post shall be brief, as i am in no mood, currently, to recount the events of my ruddy weekend. what had once promised be full of henchmen recruitment and strategic advancement now lays empty and void, like a discarded crisps bag on this mortal coil's highway shoulder. (and yes, i do realize that i have successfully used the apostrophe key, its whereabouts were described to me plainly by my disadvantaged, but well-meaning half brother pommes frites. after i had relieved him of his substitute duties to peanut butter tuesday, he shared his newfound knowledge with me, as well as an assortment of nonsensical babble about brightly loud helio-flowers exploding forth from the heavens and rapidly growing insects which tasted not unlike cigarette butts and purest forms of evil. i'm still not quite sure what it was that he was describing, and, frankly, i'm too tired to care at the moment.)

am i happy to be back? yes. did the weekend fare well? no. is the global paper industry one step closer to crumbling? no more so than it was before my trip. will i ever divulge the sordid unfortunate details? yes, but perhaps on another day.

it's late, my bottom hurts, and i'm covered in alpaca fur. also, i've the strangest craving for a rooty-tooty fresh and fruity breakfast extravaganza from the local ihop.