why does weblog need to be shortened?

so i realize that im just a puppy, and i dont quite understand your human world yet, but im trying.

please keep in mind that its very difficult to type on a qwerty keyboard made for your human fingers. i just recently developed an elementary grasp of your general syntax structure and punctuations. and while i do understand the concept of the apostrophe for contractions and possession, i cant seem to find the key that corresponds with it to employ it conversationally. after all i am just a mischievious teacup poodle puppy with a heart of gold, and i just learned where the tilde was yesterday.

so as i lazed dreamily on the hardwood floor in kristen and rays office (really though, its a tiny room devoted to dirty laundry--by the way, i love to chew me some day-old panties) and a desk, i looked up startledly when the sound of the office chairs wheel rolled back and scraped abruptly, grinding to a halt on one of the warped and delapidated floorboards. at that moment, i wondered internally: whats so magical about these weblogs? why is kristen always posting? who is reading it? who belong to the blogs she reads frequently? whats so fascinating about someones version of their lunchdate with an old colleague? the answer taunts and eludes me like a clumsily running toddler from a quadriplegic pedarast.

i surmised that the only true way to experience this self-indulgent, yet voyeuristic joy she has found is to experience it myself. taking cue from noted handlebar-mustachioed documentarian-du-jour morgan spurlock, i decided to try my paw at managing a weblog for thirty days. only then would i know what blogging truly is.

so there it was, my first post.
maybe after this thirty day sociology experiment concludes ill tackle rays fascination with pantslessly browsing internet porno sites in the wee hours of the evening. i dont care how he disclaims it. its not that hot in the office, and im the one covered in fur.